Christmas Crime

Sadly two weeks off for the festive period did not provide the opportunity for detective watching that I would have hoped. ITV celebrated with a string of Midsomer Murders but I’d seen them before.

My Christmas viewing consisted of just:

• 1 episode of The Perry Mason Mysteries which are the lame franchise where Perry Mason isn’t actually in it, but his sidekicks are. The main character was what my mum described as “a man who bursts into opera every now and then” who turned out to be Paul who was in one season of Law & Order.
• 1 episode of Murder She Wrote, which was a concept episode just narrated by Jessica Fletcher. Actually, it was probably better than the ones with her in and it featured a poodle.
• 1 episode of Monk where it is revealed that Natalie is from a wealthy toothpaste dynasty.
  

In terms of presents, I did much better with the first series of Kojak and The Streets of San Francisco being under the tree for me.

Grey Day = Tea + Detectives

Summer has retreated, leaving in its wake a grey day that isn't fit anything other than drinking tea and watching television. Luckily I had a couple of programmes put aside for a rainy day.

Quincy - an episode that took the classic murder-mystery formula of a group of people all with one thing in common, gathered in a remote house, with a murderer killing them one at a time. Quincy was there with his new wife (I had no idea) and the others were judges, a detective and a lawyer, who had all been involved in a fraud/murder case. The convict had escaped prison and here will all of the people who helped put him away, gathered in one place. There was also a mute servant, who I misssed the significance of, having missed the first five minutes of the show, but who was shown to look guilty/spooky/shifty at every opportunity, but turned out to be completely blameless and unconnected.

Dempsey and Makespeace - Makespeace is gorgeous, Dempsey is gorgeous. Everything and everyone else is drab. Its no wonder they fall for each other. Even the woman Dempsey describes as a fox in this episode is lacklustre. London is grey rather like today. I suppose England was like that in the 80s, in Thatcher's Britain, although the drabness is probably more a reflection on the production methods, lighting and actual weather than a political statement. The music however is rather exciting. It chimes in forcefully at the chase sequences just in case you hadn't noticed they were supposed to be thrilling. The plot was something to do with a right-wing group trying to overthrow the Government by hyper-inflation, but it didn't have much depth and is merely a backdrop to the simmering chemistry between the two leads.

Kojak - The episode was entitled "A Summer Madness" and all the characters sweated their way through the episode. In just an hour, it managed to create a drama with impact and believeability. It featured a troubled cop, his wife driven made through grief, a murdered lover and a junkie musician, set against the sweltering heat of New York in the summer. This was great stuff. Ultimately depressing, but excellently done, rather like Ironside. I'm hunting through the schedule for more, otherwise this may be next on my "To Buy" list.

What I've Been Watching

Life has been getting in the way of my detective viewing, so apologies for not posting for ages.

I've been working my way through the Morse box set. I think I have watched most of it, although I have been watching them in bed late at night so keep falling asleep in the conclusions. The only full episodes I've not watched are the one where Morse thinks the Masons are out to get him (seen it loads of times), the one where there hasn't been a murder at all and the supposed victim is wearing a face mask (sorry if that ruins an episode for someone, but frankly it was nonsense) and the final episode "Remorseful Day" which I'm avoiding until I feel in the mood for uncontrollable weeping.

We are continuing with The Shield, which is drawing to a gripping and no doubt overblown finale. I still hate it but it will still leave a void in my life when it is over. So if anyone can recommend something else implausible with badly written dialogue to take its place, I'd be interested. Actually, I've just remembered that Prison Break is back on so that will fit the bill nicely.

For a bit of variety last weekend I watched a pair of Mary Higgins Clark Mysteries, dubious television movies, featuring plucky heroines (one was owned a wine company, the other was Clint Eastwood's daughter). They were rather silly, but there are worse ways to spend a Bank Holiday.

Week One of Sky Plus

The joys of the Sky Plus box means that I no longer have to miss my favourite shows because of inconveniences like work and sleep! Whole new worlds of viewing have opened up to me – except typically there doesn’t seem to be that much on at the moment.

Nonetheless I recorded (is that the right word – captured perhaps?) an episode of Psych that I hadn’t seen before. It involved alien abduction, tanning salons and speed dating. A fairly typical plot then!

I also recorded an episode of Criminal Minds which turned out to the season finale of season 2 which I’d seen nothing of, so I deleted that without watching it in the hope that I will be able to watch the full season at some point. A similar fate befell an episode of Intelligence, which I’d seen the first ever episode of, but that wasn’t enough to allow me to follow what was happening in this one.

I hope to be able to store up some more viewing for those long winter nights, but I’m not going to resort to Colombo just yet.

Some detectives

When my OH hasn’t been watching cricket or the Olympics, I’ve watched a couple of detective shows in the last week.

I’ve seen a bit more of Medium. I’m surprised the couple have three children as I’ve never seen two people wear so many clothes to go to bed. Is it a family show so we can’t see man’s bare chest?

I attempted to watch a couple of episodes of SVU but they seemed to be particularly gruesome episodes (I know sex crimes are never a barrel of laughs, but these seemed particularly vicious) and I found myself not having the stomach for it.

Saturday morning, I enjoyed an episode of Randall and Hopkirk deceased, which featured a great moment when Randall was nearly drowned and for a moment he appeared next Hopkirk, wearing a white suit too.

I’ve also watched a bit of Law & Order too but that will be a separate post.

Cold Turkey

I've really not watched much at all in the last few weeks.

Apart from:
Two episodes of Medium that I fell asleep in before the end
Two episodes of the first series of Cold Case
An episode of Diagnosis Murder that I started to watch whilst in Spain, but it turned out it was one I'd already seen.

I'm away again this weekend so I doubt I'll get to watch anything for a while yet. Bother.

Sunday Schedule

The Hallmark Channel isn’t scheduling quite so many detective programmes at the weekend at the moment. I spent Saturday gardening in the garden (where else?). And I’ve actually had some semblance of a social life recently (even if that did include watching darts!). These things have conspired to mean that I’ve not been watching as many shows as usual. But the exception to this is Sunday night. I’ve settled into quite a nice little routine of viewing on a Sunday.

Psych – I feel thoroughly ashamed that I was so harsh on this when I first saw it as I really like it now and wish I could watch it more often than once a week. The settings of the last few episodes have been; a Spanish soap opera, a Lodge and a fashion party. Each one has brought with it ridiculous jokes. Unfortunately, it looks like this week’s is the last episode of the second series. I feel that I may need to buy the first series on DVD soon. I may have a little bit of a crush of the main character, Shawn.

Law & Order – I don’t go out of my way to watch this anymore but on Sunday it fills a hole in my schedule. Despite my dislike of Sam Waterston, it is still usually believable and well-written.

Dexter – Again I have to retract my earlier reservations about this show. I’ve been gripped by it for the past few weeks. First they thought they had the Ice Truck Killer. Then they realised they didn’t. Now we know that it is Dexter’s sister’s boyfriend. But they don’t know that. There is also some new twist involving Dexter’s biological father.

Wot No Detectives?

I've not managed to watch any detective all week. I'm feeling anxious. I've had an exhausting week and the OH is out tonight, so was looking forward to a bit of mindless viewing. But there is nothing on!

Of course, I don't mean the channels have all stopped transmitting (although our providers, Tiscali are more than a bit rubbish. I mean there aren't any detective programmes on for me to watch. Hallmark (the home of the detective) has Jericho on which is sci-fi. There are various Law & Orders on later but I think I've seen them all already. Most disappointing.

Perhaps I should have an early night so I can get up at 6am for a double-bill of Rockford Files, followed by by three helpings of Ironside on ITV3? It sounds good and all over by 11am which leaves me with plenty of time to go about my business.

36 Hours of Crime & Flu

Still off work ill, but just about managing to crawl to the lounge to watch television and then to the computer to break up the day. The novelty of daytime detective watching has truly worn off and I'm regretting watching Criminal Minds so quickly.

In the last 36 hours, I've watched the following:

Crossing Jordan - I watched it but through my flu-haze I struggled to follow it properly. It was nearly over before I realised there were two separate crimes, which was why I was confused. Like I said, I'm ill.

Season 5, Disc 2 of The Shield - three episodes in total. I wasn't enjoying it but then as the plot moved away from the Strike Team and onto Dutch and Claudette instead, I started to get back into it. I had only just remarked how I would prefer it if they had their own spin-off series, when Claudette fell down and the episode ended. We now have to wait a couple of days for the next installment to arrive.

Law & Order SVU - the second episode about Olivia's brother and whether he is a rapist. I'd seen the first episode a while ago but missed the follow-on, but last night, all the loose ends were tied up.

Intelligence - the first ever episode of it - or rather the first twenty minutes of it before I crashed out. It looked quite good although a poor man's The Wire or Sopranos perhaps.

Ironside - another good episode about using a television show to trap a killer. The television show was part Crime Watch, part debate. It was interesting that the same worries about crumbling society and rising crime were issues in San Francisco in 1970s as they are in the UK today.

Charlies Angels - an episode from series 3 about a psychics. Not bad, but it is late period Angels where Farah has been replaced by Cheryl Ladd and its just not the same. I miss Farah's big hair. I attempted to watch a second episode involving 'the death of Charlie's favourite folk singer'. The plot involved drugs and laundrettes but even so I slept through it.

Cold Case - Whilst I've seen other cold case based programmes, I'd not seen this show before, perhaps because it is on Sky One, rarely a good sign. But it was ok. It was about the murder of a yuppie trader and although it was complete with 80s soundtrack and detail, it didn't get in the way of a pretty good plot. I liked the device of switching between how the person looked at the time of the murder and how they are in the present.

That's an awful lot of crime - no wonder I feel ill but at least I've managed to avoid Diagnosis Murder.

Anyway, I must get back under my duvet as Randall and Hopkirk will be starting soon.

Nepotism and Unbelievability

I didn’t have too much to drink on my birthday. I really didn’t. I didn’t have a headache or anything like that. I went out to buy the Sunday paper with minimum fuss. But after that I was besieged by extreme tiredness, so the only thing to do was lie on the sofa in front of the television, where I dozed on and off all day.

In between dozes, I watched the following:

Murder 101: College Can be Murder
Described by the Hallmark announcer as ‘the new Diagnosis Murder”, which was a fairly accurate description in that it was a crime show, starring Dick Van Dyke and it wasn’t very good. He played much the same character as in Diagnosis Murder, except this one was a lecturer in Criminology rather than a doctor so it was set in a university rather than a hospital, but he was still the same irritating character. It also, like Diagnosis Murder, involved his son Barry, who, as far as I could tell, lived with him, was a Private Investigator but not playing his son this time. A few other lesser Van Dykes also cropped up in lesser roles.

Agatha Christies Poirot – Murder in Mesopotania
Despite telling the OH I didn’t like Poirot much, I ended up watching this. I wondered whether it might have any interesting undercurrent about politics in the Middle East and Colonialism, but it didn’t unless that happened while I snoozed. The plot involved the murder of an archaeologist’s wife, who we were supposed to believe was captivatingly beautiful. I found her insipid. The resolution involved asking us to believe that someone could marry the same man twice without realising it. What I refer to as the “Martin Wellbourne Scenario” after a similar plot in The Rise and Fall of Reginald Perrin. Frankly, I don't believe it is possible. Mrs Perrin knew all along that Martin Wellbourne was Reggie, just as Jodie Foster in Somersby knew it wasn't really her husband. So I couldn't believe this was any different. Nonsense.

After this was finished watching the rest of the Homicide DVD which was majestic and deserves its own post. More later

St Valentine's Day Massacre

Yes, even on St Valentine's Day, I managed to watch some detectives. We did celebrate the day with my patented Halloumi hearts and a bottle of champagne, but then we watched some television.

First up was Ashes to Ashes which was on its final chance. Still not really liking it, so it may have been the last time we watch it. The only decent thing in last night's episode was that they played Geno by Dexys Midnight Runners.

Then we went back to the boxset of Homicide. The first episode was called Blood Wedding but was nothing to do with the Lorca play of the same name. It was shaping up to be an interesting episode, but sadly I feel asleep before the end, the champagne earlier having gone completely to my head.

Insomniac's Complaint

For some unknown reason, I always suffer from insomnia when I stay at my mother's house and this Christmas was no exception. So to try to lull myself back off to sleep in the small hours, I would watch a bit of television. But these days it seems nearly every station just has a phone in quiz once it gets past midnight. Not just cheap television, but presumably a money-spinner too.

So what is a detective loving non-sleeper suppose to do? Well one night I was fortunate enough to come across 'Karen Sisco'. I'd not seen or heard of this show before but it turns out it is based on the character created by Elmore Leonard and portrayed by Jennnifer Lopez in 'Out of Sight' a film I did rather enjoy. This series however doesn't feature J-Lo presumably had better things to do, although judging by the reviews her later films received, I wonder if she may have been better off in this.

So I saw about half an episode, which involved a transexual and dentistry. It seemed pretty good but I'm back at home now where I sleep plenty.

Surprise Sleuth

Yesterday I watched an episode of Monk and Law & Order SVU, but on top of that, we watched an episode of Fraiser that turned out to involve a bit of sleuthing. Not what you'd normally expect. The episode involved Frasier's father going over an old unsolved case. Frasier takes a look at the evidence too and comes to the conclusion that the monkey did it. Confident that he has solved the riddle, he decided that he should encourage his father's line of thinking in the same direction. As you would expect with Frasier, it doesn't work out exactly as planned and suffice to say, Frasier is not going to become a detective anytime soon.

(although to be honest, his theory made sense to me!)

A little Law & Order

Not been watching much recently, I’m afraid as I’ve been very busy with other things and watching the nonsense that is ‘I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here’ which I seem to have been sucked into for yet another year, despite vowing each time to never watch it again.

I did catch an episode of Law & Order last night that I hadn’t seen before – from the Benjamin Bratt era. It was a disturbing tale (when isn’t it?) of the 13 year old son of a crack addict, who kills an old lady. From initially being a mouthy wannabe gangster, gradually you saw him as a child born into horrible circumstances with no way out. It was rather moving and even Sam Waterston turned in a good performance.

I've got a big decorating project to see to this weekend, plus some family issues, so I'm not sure how much viewing I'll be doing over the next few days, although I do find these shows oddly soothing so perhaps I'll be watching alot.

Aerial Antics

I've been away for the weekend to my mother's. Despite her weekend viewing habits consisting of alternating between the Hallmark Channel and ITV3, I didn't really watch anything properly as we were chatting, the Morse was one we'd seen, PD James was later installments of a story and the Columbo was yet again one starring Patrick McGoohan.

On Saturday night on returning from the pub, I was determined to watch Law & Order SVU. Unfortunately, the television in the guest bedroom (ok, the spare room - guest bedroom being a tad too grand for a room in a terrace) doesn't have an outside aerial so the reception is sporadic with Channel 5 being the worst. But I was determined (perhaps on account of the lagers) and set about trying to get a picture and sound by moving, twisting, turning, contorting the aerial every which way. After 10 minutes of this exertion, I admitted defeat and threw down the aerial onto the bed. Which produced the best reception!

So I got into bed with the aerial and started to watch the show. Only to fall asleep about 10 minutes later.

Sick as a Detective

I was off work sick yesterday which in itself was a bad thing but it did mean I got to watch a lot of television. A huge amount in fact including lots of things I normally wouldn’t watch.

Cagney & Lacey
The plot involved an informant going undercover in a school to find out who was selling drugs to the pupils. The drug was PCP, not something you hear much about these days but obviously a big worry in Eighties New York. There was also a subplot involving Harvey Jr’s school project.

Starsky & Hutch
An improbable story of an old people who fill a car with dynamite in a plan to blow up their residential home, but the car is then stolen. I must admit I dozed off during this but it will seemed to work out fine in the end with the old folks being promised better food in their home.

Profiler
A beauty queen is murdered and suspicion falls on her uncooperative parents, but then similarities are noticed with other murders. It was pretty dark, taking in possible incest, voyeurism and piano tuning! The on-going storyline of Jack stalking the profiler reared its head at the end of the episode too.

The Rockford Files
An airhostess friend of Rockford (Sharon Gless of Cagney & Lacey in her younger days) gets into an argument with a passenger, a Coin Collector when she comments on his frequent flying. He later attempts to kill her. Rockford gets involved with some strange plan to get the Coin Collector arrested which seemed rather foolish and pointless. But it was an engaging episode and I’ll make a point of watching it again next time I’m ill.

Hart to Hart
Redhead prostitutes are being murdered and the police aren’t that interested in solving the crime. So Jonathan and Jennifer get involved, much to the police’s disdain, another girl is murdered, they solve the crime.

Charlie’s Angels
The Angels are sent to Mexico to trap a drug baron. They each adopt a persona that suits their varied talents – Sabrina pretends to be an air hostess because she speaks Spanish, Kelly attracts the drug baron by wearing a daring bikini and Jill becomes a swimming coach for his daughter – the latter two roles obviously based more on getting the girls in swimwear than furthering the plot. There was a plot twist at the end that I saw coming a mile off.


Plus a couple of episodes of Homicide Life on the Street to round the day off nicely.

Day Off = Multiple Murders

I had a day off yesterday so managed to watch a few more shows than the average Monday.

Columbo in the afternoon - in episode about a politician.
Jane Doe - started to watch this but then suspected I'd already seen it so gave up
Diagnosis Murder - an episode about mercy killings which I'd already seen so switched over
Murder She Wrote - the murder of a famous artist in Cabot Cove
Profiler - saw this was on but went back to Murder She Wrote
Prison Break - watched two episodes - its still exciting and silly in equal measures
Law & Order: Criminal Intent - first time I've seen the new series with Chris Noth (more on this later)
Law & Order: SVU - a couple of episodes from Season 4 on DVD.

Today, I'm back at work so won't see anything.

Last Week's Viewing

I had a very busy week last week, which included going to a fashion show, going away for work and on Saturday actually socialising with my friends all day. So this didn't leave much time for watching television and I didn't really watch anything until Sunday, when I tried to make up for lost time.

Saturday: I got home at 11 so watched the last bit of SVU then the start of Criminal Minds, where predictably I fell asleep, woke up 15 minutes before the end, dozed off again and woke up five minutes after it had finished.

Sunday: A bumper viewing day, but it didn't start until later. I had wanted to watch the episode of Columbo which involved a production of Macbeth, but the OH was watching sport so I had to wait until later.

I watched a quick episode of Charlie's Angels wihch involved female racing drivers, then a Perry Mason: The Case of the Poisoned Pen. This episode involved the death of a murder mystery writer and the other suspects were all other murder mystery writers. How postmodern! It was fairly predictable and the formulaic structure annoyed me a bit.

Then the OH and I watched two episodes of SVU that we'd recorded the other week. The first episode was very good - Olivia had found her half brother, fathered by the man who raped her mother. But then he was a suspect in a stalking case, raising the question of whether he has inherited this from their father. Meanwhile the captain questions whether Olivia and Elliot should remain partners. Honestly, I wish they'd just have sex with each other to get it over with!


The second episode wasn’t so interesting and annoyingly we’d missed one in between so have no idea if the brother situation was explored further or if that was it. Olivia and Elliot were still partners though although showing no signs of having consummated the relationship. This episode involved underage drinking, something that in the UK would more likely be a case for social services rather than the police. All of the teenagers involved were irritating and I’m glad I didn’t go to an American High School as its nothing like Sweet Valley High these days.

Next up was an episode of Criminal Intent, apparently the sixth ever episode, which seemed a strange landmark to announce. You could tell it was an early episode though as everyone is wary of Goran’s bizarre behaviour rather than accepting his genius. It involved priests, foster care and homeless shelters, and was suitably bleak.

Then I rounded the day off with Medium. The OH watched it with me for the first time, but seemed to struggle with the conventions of showing flashbacks and visions. He found the family life subplot boring and suggested the programme should be renamed ‘Tedium’. I enjoyed the episode despite his distractions although next week I think I’ll watch it on my own.

This Weekend's (Thwarted) Viewing

I attempted to watch Criminal Minds last night for the first time. Unfortunately it was on a bit late and I annoyingly fell asleep before it concluded. What I did see wasn't too bad - three bombs had gone off and the team were trying to find a link between the victims and looking at the explosive devices to find the culprit. The section with the bomb expert looking at how the devices were made was particularly interesting, as he explained how each bomb maker has a signature and what you can deduce about their character. Fascinating stuff, but the plot device used to allow him to explain this to the audience (because in real life he'd probably do this in silence) he was explaining his ideas to what appeared to be an intern! An intern in the FBI! Does that happen? It seemed rather a clunky way of doing it and as it is the first time I've seen this show, I don't know if they always have a dumb person to explain stuff to.

Law & Order SVU was also on two channels pretty much simultaneously last night and I'd already seen both episodes. What are the chances of that? Actually probably quite high, especially since Five are saving their new series for weekdays only. I had also already seen today's Perry Mason case.

Even more annoying was that a cable channel we don't get (Living TV) had a Detective special weekend - a friend sent me a Facebook message to alert me to this. I was gutted. Apparently one show posed the question of 'If you were murdered who would you want on the case?' This is a question I will no doubt return to here later.

On a positive note, we now seem to be receive a batch of new channels including one On Demand Channel that has a whole series of Charlies Angels, which I'm hoping my partner will watch with me if only so he can decide if he prefers Jaclyn Smith or Kate Jackson (he's already ruled out Farah).

A New One on Me

Today, I caught a bit of a feature length show on Hallmark called Mystery Woman. Apparently it was part of an irregular series but it was the first time I'd seen it. Not only that but it was the first time I had come across this type of sleuth.

The hero of the show is a woman, Samantha, who runs a mystery book store. Not a crime story writer like Jessica Fletcher, but someone who sells books about murders. It became obvious from the reaction of the policeman in the show that it wasn't the first time this bookshop owner had gotten caught up in a crime. But in this episode, it was a crime writer who was the murder victim. How incredible is that?

Unfortunately, I had other more pressing things to attend to so couldn't watch it all - perhaps if it had been better, I would have made time. I wonder if my addiction is waning?