Banned

I’ve been banned from watching Cold Case!

The OH has banned me from watching it. I don’t see how he is going to enforce this exactly but he is doing it for my own good since an episode of it yesterday left me sobbing.

I’ve often mused on whether it is callous to watch so many crime shows, that depict so much death and suffering and what that must say about my character. What makes most crime shows tolerable is that they focus on the process of solving the crime or the criminal without too much time given to the victim. But recently I can’t stomach SVU and now it seems Cold Case is too much for me, and what these have in common is that you are constantly reminded of the victim.

The episode of Cold Case that had me in tears involved a murder from the 1960s (my favourite period so I was looking forward to this one) but it was a case that had only just come to light when a body was washed up by the sea. It was the body of a child. I should have just turned it off at this point. The story involves four year old twin girls, an abused wife and a wonderful Sixties soundtrack that just added to the sorrow. It was all too much for me to take.

Perhaps the OH was right to ban it.

Week One of Sky Plus

The joys of the Sky Plus box means that I no longer have to miss my favourite shows because of inconveniences like work and sleep! Whole new worlds of viewing have opened up to me – except typically there doesn’t seem to be that much on at the moment.

Nonetheless I recorded (is that the right word – captured perhaps?) an episode of Psych that I hadn’t seen before. It involved alien abduction, tanning salons and speed dating. A fairly typical plot then!

I also recorded an episode of Criminal Minds which turned out to the season finale of season 2 which I’d seen nothing of, so I deleted that without watching it in the hope that I will be able to watch the full season at some point. A similar fate befell an episode of Intelligence, which I’d seen the first ever episode of, but that wasn’t enough to allow me to follow what was happening in this one.

I hope to be able to store up some more viewing for those long winter nights, but I’m not going to resort to Colombo just yet.

Life without Television

We are without television. Not entirely - we do still have a portable with the basic five channels in the bedroom but that hardly counts.

Someone at the OH's work gave us a DVD of the first series of Morse which is three episodes. I thought this wouldn't last very long. We made the mistake of trying to watch one when we came in on Friday night after a concert. I fell asleep 10 minutes in, the OH faired a bit better but still didn't see the conclusion. I tried to watch it again on Saturday night but fell asleep twice! So we still have three episodes left to watch.

The sixth and final season of Homicide has also arrived chez us. We had read that it wasn't very good but it had to be better than nothing? The first couple of episodes weren't bad at all. There was a Pembleton shaped hole that they were trying to fill with Giardello's son, but otherwise it was ok. After about five episodes I started to doze. There was a double episode with Kellerman as a Private Investigator but still sleep was calling me. Tonight we will resume watching this, and then perhaps it will be back to Morse.

Hopefully on Wednesday we will have Sky installed although I won't reap the benefits of it until next week as I'm away for the rest of this week.

Cherry-Picking Cold Cases

This week we will part company with our cable television provider. We started out with Homechoice about six years ago and the service was great. Unfortuately they were taken over by Tiscali and the service worsened. Television reception has been poor with periods of complete unavailability. So we are moving to Sky.

The new service will hopefully be more reliable and give me access to more detectives, but the one thing I will miss about the current provider (when the service actually works) is the on-demand channels. Through this service I was able to watch the whole of the first series of Criminal Minds and around a dozen episodes of Cold Case.

To make the most of it while I could (and the OH was out watching sport), last night I thought I would watch a couple of episodes of Cold Case. After 20 minutes of loss of service (this is why it is going), I decided that I would cherry-pick the episodes to watch as I've seen episodes here and there and don't have enough time left to watch them all. I decided that I would go with my favourite period in history, the 1960s. The three I started up weren't from that decade but the fourth one "The Volunteers" was. It involved hippies, Vietnam, draft-dodging, illegal abortion, Black power and communes. There was music by Jefferson Airplane and references to Woodstock and bell-bottoms. It was marvellous.

Of the 11 episodes currently available to watch, it turned out only one was set in the Sixties, so I just watched the next two episodes in the sequence as it looked like there might be an interesting background plot involving the detective, Scotty Valen's girlfriend. The next episode was "The Lost Soul of Herman" which was about basketball and the 1980s. It wasn't bad, but not was good as the previous one (the Eighties are never as good at the Sixties). Then it was "Resolutions" which was a crime from the cusp of the millennium.

I stopped after that as the OH had returned and we ended up watching a bit of Quadrophenia instead!

Crossing James Caan

Yesterday I watched an episode of "Crossing Jordan". It was entitled "What happens in Vegas, Dies in Boston" and involved a private jet from a Vegas casino landing in Boston. There was a dead man on board with a security box containing $3million chained to his arm. The chief suspects were the head of casino security and his glamorous female assistant. Later in the episode, James Caan turned up, threatened a few people and everyone seemed to do as he said. I'm surprised they didn't obey him straightaway - this is James Caan, don't they know he is connected?

Actually what I didn't realise until I looked it up this morning on IMDB is that Caan and the other two casino employees are characters from another show, "Las Vegas", so American viewers presumably would have known all about these characters before they popped up here. I've never seen "Las Vegas" so didn't know that they were definitely good guys, which perhaps added some mystery to the show that in-the-know viewers wouldn't have had.

This main storyline didn't conclude within the episode, which annoyingly ended with a "to be continued". It is next shown on Hallmark on Monday at 6pm when I'll be at work, but I suspect that it may not even be continued in "Crossing Jordan" but the story would have been wrapped up on "Las Vegas" instead. So I may never know what happened.

Although the sub-plot in this episode was actually what kept me watching. This involved the possibility of a very young child being a psychpath, and fortunately this bit was resolved, albeit sadly, within the hour.

Lost Gem?

I'm currently reading "King Suckerman" by George P Pelecanos. It is set in the 1970s and one of the characters is deciding what to watch on television and moaning about the type of show he hates. He complains about the unbelievability of "Barnaby Jones" as the lead character is too old to be taken seriously as a hard man. He continues to complain about what he calls "cripple shows" Ironside and Longstreet, which is about a blind detective!

I've never seen Barnaby Jones but the name is familar, but Longstreet was entirely new to me. A show about a blind detective! Whilst the character in my book is appalled by the idea and sceptical about how he detects, I'm fascinated. I want to see it.

Sadly, it doesn't seem to be available on DVD. Another lost gem? I'll probably never know.

The character settles on watching Harry O instead, a show I've only seen once. I would be more than happy with his choice of programmes. I'm craving 70s crime shows.

Why?

I'm still wondering why I spend £30 on The Shield and why I wasted 10 hours of my life this week watching it.

But more than that I'm wondering why Franka Potente wanted to be in this show?

She appeared for two episodes at the end of this series as the daughter of an Armenian gang boss. She was very good. She is a good actress. But I don't understand why she would want to do it. Perhaps her indie credentials from Run Lola Run are behind her since appearing in the Bourne films, but really they weren't as bad as this mindless dross.

I suppose the same question could be asked of Forest Whittaker and Glenn Close too.

I hope it paid well.

Reading the Detectives, Part 2

A year ago I wrote about my reading in the crime genre, which hadn’t really been much. Recently I’ve been reading a lot. In fact I’ve been reading manically as it is the only thing that seems to soothe the feelings of angst from which I’ve been suffering.

This reading has included some more crime novels. Firstly, I got back into the Rebus series and read the final two books in the set. I especially enjoyed End Music and thought it was a good farewell to Rebus, who I shall miss.

Next I borrowed a George P Pelecanos book from the OH, the first in his Washington series “The Big Blowdown”. It took me a little while to get into it, but I enjoyed. Unfortunately I don’t have a copy of the next instalment “King Suckerman”, can’t get a swap for it on “Read It Swap It” and my library doesn’t have it. I will probably crack soon and buy it but at the moment I’m loathe to pay full price for it.

Then I read "Darkly Dreaming Dexter" the book by Jeff Lindsay on which the television series was based. It was similar to the programme but there seemed to be one plot difference, so there was still some suspense there for me.

Last weekend I read “The Shape of Water” by Andrea Camillieri, the first of the Inspector Montalbano books which are set amongst the corrupt officials and gangster in Sicily. It had a decent plot but wasn’t too heavy-going. It is the perfect sort of read when I don’t want to think too much.

Yesterday, I started “The Return of the Dancing Master” by Henning Mankell, This time my reading has taken me to Sweden, and it’s a much darker journey than the one to Sicily. Its quite graphic, but I like the characters in it so far. The thing I don’t like about, and I realised is what puts me off a lot of crime novels, is the book itself. It is one of those squat books, that implies low-brow. At least it doesn’t have a black cover with blood-soaked dagger on it and the author’s name in a huge font. I like my crime books to look just like any other books, to look like they might be good literature too.

And the prize for the Worst Character goes to...

In a universe populated by gangs, drug barons, murderous cops and corrupt politicians, it is perhaps strange that the character I hate the most in The Shield is a nurse!

But it is true. The character that aggrieves me the most is Vic’s estranged wife, Corrine, an emergency room nurse. It isn’t so much that she is a despicable person, but that this is the worst written part in direly written show (a show that I’m still watching though).

If there is ever a scene in the hospital, you can guarantee that Corrine will be the nurse on duty. This is a mother of three children, yet she is always on duty whatever the emergency. Is Farmington’s hospital so bad that they can only employ one nurse?

This is what separates The Shield from something like The Wire. The Wire across its 5 seasons must have close to a hundred characters and even small parts are fully formed. The Shield may have a high body count, but beyond that it doesn’t seem to pay for extras and every plot involves the same few characters. So if there is any nursing to be done, Corrine Mackay is going to do it.

Last night though her character annoyed me beyond the omnipresent nursing. Last night she had a dream. It was a dream about Lem and burgers. She gathered together the Strike Team (her estranged hardman husband and two hardmen cops) to tell them about her dream. It was supposed to be symbolic, but it was the symbolism of the worst teenage poetry.

They would have been justified to have laughed in her face. I would have. In fact I did. Another night of laughing at The Shield (except for the bit were someone was whipped with chains - nobody laughed at that.)

Return of the Angry Baked Bean

The Olympics are over, there is still nothing on the television and I refuse to pay £40 for the first season of Ironside on DVD. This leaves me with no choice other than to buy the sixth season of The Shield instead.

And thus my love-hate relationship with The Shield continues.

Last night we watched two episodes of it. I laughed through most of the first episode, vowed to try to take it more seriously, then had to chide the OH for laughing.

Lem (the blonde one who looked more like a surfer than a cop) was killed at the end of the previous series. This one opens with Vic (the Angry Baked Bean) vowing to find his killer and “make them die in the same way….but slower”.

This is the standard of the dialogue throughout so it is no wonder we are struggling not to laugh.

Heaven

Unless it had magically appeared like the shop Mr Ben visits, I must have walked past it a hundred times before, but I didn't notice it until yesterday.

Murder One Bookshop on Charing Cross Road.

Perhaps its window display had previously been crime books so I hadn't paid it so much attention. But yesterday, the display was a glorious selection of DVDs.


I never thought a stack of Bergerac DVDs would make my pulse quicken. Actually, until yesterday I didn't know there were any Bergerac DVDs. And there at the bottom, Ironside Season 2, presumably a USA import.


So many detectives, but alas I've so little money. Next month I will return with my wages, but until then is there any harm in browsing?

Song of the Week: Echo and the Bunnymen "The Killing Moon"

Another tenuous choice - nowt to do with detectives, but it has the word "killing" in the title and was used in the film "Grosse Point Blank" which is about a hitman According to Wikipedia, Ian McCulloch told Smash Hits magazine that the song was about "a moon with a machine gun".

Actually it doesn't seem quite to tenuous a choice at all now.

Also I have a bit of thing for Ian McCulloch. I think its the arrogance.

Lessons learnt from Law & Order

The Hallmark Channel was on a Law and Order marathon on Saturday, showing episodes from the Benjamin Bratt era. I’ve not seen too many of these and actually I quite like the pairing of him and Jerry Orbach.

The first episode “Encore” was about a man who had been suspected of murdering his first wife and then his second wife was murdered too, with some similarities. The next episode, “Saviour” has a family man suspected of killing his wife and son, being labelled a “family annihilator”. The characters and conclusions in these episodes were very different, but in both suspicion fell on the husbands due to insurance policies on their wives. This made me think that it perhaps isn’t such a good idea to take insurance out on your wife because either a) it will fill you with an uncontrollable urge to murder her or b) she is bound to get murdered and you will automatically be the prime suspect.

Next up was an episode called “Deceit” about gay lawyers. Not one of the best episodes, but a chilling ending. Then there was “Atonement” about a murdered model, which featured Michale Imperioli (Christopher from the Sopranos who I find quite attractive even though he resembled Gonzo from the Muppets). The model was a shallow coke addict which led to her being murdered. This episode reminded me that all photographers are sleazy. I’ve yet to see an episode of any murder show featuring models and photographers where the photographer isn’t a callous sleaze.

Some detectives

When my OH hasn’t been watching cricket or the Olympics, I’ve watched a couple of detective shows in the last week.

I’ve seen a bit more of Medium. I’m surprised the couple have three children as I’ve never seen two people wear so many clothes to go to bed. Is it a family show so we can’t see man’s bare chest?

I attempted to watch a couple of episodes of SVU but they seemed to be particularly gruesome episodes (I know sex crimes are never a barrel of laughs, but these seemed particularly vicious) and I found myself not having the stomach for it.

Saturday morning, I enjoyed an episode of Randall and Hopkirk deceased, which featured a great moment when Randall was nearly drowned and for a moment he appeared next Hopkirk, wearing a white suit too.

I’ve also watched a bit of Law & Order too but that will be a separate post.

Quote of the Week: Woody Allen

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Woody Allen

Medium Dark

I think I'd got the wrong impression of Medium from the couple of episodes I'd seen on the BBC. I've seen a few episodes (or bits of episodes) on the Sci-Fi channel recently and it really is a lot darker than I'd thought. It has a real ambience of foreboding and makes me feel a bit uncomfortable at times.

The last couple of episodes I've seen weren't so much about her solving crimes but the difficulties of living with her special powers, her moral obligations and how it conflicts with family life.

It is a more interesting show than I had thought and I'm keen to watch more of it. The middle child, who may have the same powers, is so adorable and a brilliant little actress too.

Song of the Week: Bob Marley "I Shot the Sheriff"

I was in Spain the week before last and the poolside bar played a lot of Bob Marley. Not the political stuff (I've cleared a pub in the past by putting "Redemption Song" on the jukebox) but the more poppy ones. Which reminded me that I hadn't picked this obvious choice for my Song of the Week.

According to Wikipedia, Marley had wanted the lyrics to say "I shot the Police" but feared the reaction from the Government. The song didn't attract any controversy but there is an interesting article here about why it didn't when compared to "Cop Killer", although it does focus on the Eric Clapton version rather than the Marley original.

Obama loves The Wire

The final series of The Wire is starting in the UK, but we have already seen it on DVD obtained over the internet. I'm envious of people who still haven't finished watching it and whilst there is still joy to be had from re-watching it, nothing beats that first thrill of discovery.

As part of a feature on The Wire in the London Paper yesterday, they had a quote from Barack Obama, as The Wire is apparently his favourite television show. The quote was about his favourite character being Omar Little, the gay stick-up artist.

That’s not an endorsement. He’s not my favorite person, but he’s a fascinating
character

I can't imagine David Cameron watching The Wire, although I could imagine him claiming to watch Hollyoaks or Skins to appear to be "down with the kids".

I found this interesting feature about it here.

Cold Turkey

I've really not watched much at all in the last few weeks.

Apart from:
Two episodes of Medium that I fell asleep in before the end
Two episodes of the first series of Cold Case
An episode of Diagnosis Murder that I started to watch whilst in Spain, but it turned out it was one I'd already seen.

I'm away again this weekend so I doubt I'll get to watch anything for a while yet. Bother.

That man Lynley again

Having been disappointed by the final Inspector Lynley two weeks ago, I was confused by his return this Sunday. But it turned out to be a repeat.

I’ve no idea why the BBC choose to repeat this particularly episode on this day. It wasn’t a particularly good episode and it involved the death of a cricketer. Considering how exciting Kevin Pietersen was playing at the weekend, for once I think I’d have chosen cricket over detectives!